Why Would I Want To Join A Babysitting Circle?

If the thought of other people’s children fills you with dread or you have been known to mutter under your breath, “I don’t like my own kids very much, why the hell should I spend an evening with someone else’s!” then perhaps you would shy away from the idea of a babysitting circle. However, I would like to put forward an argument in support of them.

When you become a mother for the first time, you really do not know what has hit you. Friends and relatives may have warned you, you may have had older brothers and sisters who hit parenthood before you, but nothing truly prepares you for the reality that is being a mother.

You will probably never have another solid night’s sleep in your life. Your bladder may return to its former glory but your boobs never will – don’t kid yourself! And you will probably never again have the pleasure of your partner’s company uninterrupted by demands from your child/children. That is, unless you leave the little dears with someone you trust and run away. Just for a couple of hours, of course, and only as far as the cinema or a restaurant.

If you have the luxury of family members close by, whom you both like and trust (a tricky combination, not always applicable to every relative), then you have a supply of babysitters on tap. Most of us, however, have to rely on friends and neighbours. This is where the baby sitting circle comes into its own.

If you have already joined the Mummy Mafia (see previous post: The Power of the Mummy Mafia) then you will have a selection of mothers to choose from that you would be willing to let near your precious child. If you pick families whose circumstances (financial/geographical/cultural) are similar to yours then you will encounter fewer problems.

When you think about it, most mums spend each evening going through the same necessary but tedious ritual with their children. From the early stages of bath/story/bed through to “Have you done your homework?” “No, not just one more go on the Playstation!” “You spoke to Stephanie five minutes ago, she doesn’t need a text message!” we spend evening after evening saying and doing the same things. But have you noticed how even the stroppiest children seem to behave for other people in a way that they would never concede at home. So, just once in a while, do a swap with a friend. Leave your partner at home to tackle getting your own children to bed: the experience will be good for his soul, and you babysit some other children. With luck they will go to bed like lambs and you can be downstairs watching the soaps well before 8.30pm. (Even if the worst happens and they play you up, you can console yourself with the knowledge that tomorrow night they will be someone else’s problem!)

The newly-freed-of-responsibility parents will have escaped with silly grins on their faces and will return indebted to you forever. Well, not quite forever: just until you want a night out and then you cash in your debt.

If you can build up a small circle of trustworthy mothers – and I don’t just mean trustworthy with your children, I mean trustworthy in that they won’t renege on the deal at the last minute or worse, never be “available” to take their turn, despite having had four free sessions already, then there is every chance that you can maintain some semblance of a relationship with your partner. Remember you both need and deserve some TLC for yourselves. You never stint in providing this for your children but parents need nurturing as well. Even if you only find one other mother to swap with, it still represents a regular opportunity to have a break from the never-ending task that is being a mother. Prime Ministers and brain surgeons get days off, so why shouldn’t mothers? After all, I consider the job they are doing is more important.